What the NFL ref debacle says about men

  • NFL gameThe National Football League has been locked in a labor dispute with its referees. So this summer the league hired replacement officials to manage its games. For three weeks these inexperienced refs bumbled their way through 47 games, getting most of the calls right.

    But that changed on Monday night in front of a national television audience. The refs blew a huge call on the final play of the game and robbed one of America’s most popular teams of a hard-fought victory.

    The reaction from fans, pundits and fellow athletes was swift and furious. Normally neutral commentators reacted with disbelief and scorn. ESPN’s SportsCenter set an all-time ratings record as incredulous fans tried to make sense of this debacle. Facebook was alight with fans vowing not to watch NFL games until the real refs return. Athletes who are normally restrained in their tweets exploded in anger. Even President Obama questioned the call.

    Why this furor over a single play in an early season game? And what can it teach us about men, who comprise the majority of the sport’s fan base?

    Men are deeply offended by: 1) incompetence, 2) disorder and 3) inconsistency within their beloved institutions.

    This is exactly what men are seeing in the NFL: indecisive calls from the referees. Increasing disorder as players test the officials to see what they can get away with. And they see a failure to apply the rules of the game consistently.

    What can this tell us about men’s relationship to the church?

    Men love competence. For decades men have been flocking to megachurches, in large measure because of this issue. Megachurches, for lack of a better phrase, have their acts together. They put on a good show. Men are not afraid to invite their friends to the megachurch because they know everything will be done with taste and professionalism. Megachurches may not be as warm and loving as the little church down the street, but they are never embarrassing, and that’s important to men.

    Men love order. I know many men who have left churches because of disorderly worship. In an effort to “give over to the Spirit” things get crazy. Services run long. Individuals call attention to themselves. Emotionalism takes over. One man left his longtime church saying, “The lunatics are running the asylum.”

    Men love consistency. Men are leaving churches that fail to apply the Bible consistently. Churches that have altered the rulebook to accommodate modern culture are losing their men. When a church reinterprets or twists the clear commands of scripture it’s almost like a referee who sees an obvious interception and calls it a touchdown. Inconsistent application of the rules drives men nuts.

    Referees make mistakes. They’re only human. Men accept that.

    What men don’t accept is a pattern of incompetence, disorder and inconsistency. That’s what we’re seeing in the NFL today. These are the same things that drive men away from the church.

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    September 26th, 2012 | David Murrow | 7 Comments |

About The Author

David Murrow

David Murrow is the director of Church for Men, an organization that helps congregations reach more men and boys. In his day job, David works as a television producer and writer. He's the author of three books. He lives in Alaska with his wife, three children, two grandchildren and a dachshund named Pepper.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Paul-Fisher/1553418451 Paul Fisher

    I left the chaos of a non denominational church and have settled into a wonderful liturgical church. We finish on time and there is an order to worship.

  • http://twitter.com/MichaelDaehn Michael Daehn

    Is the Spirit punctual?

  • Big Kherm

    Where I come from we say he’s never on schedule but always on time.

  • Lee

    In my experience a large church does not always guarantee competence. A mega church, while presenting a polished, professional public face, may be run like a sluggish, lumbering bureaucracy where it is impossible to get anything done, and where creativity and initiative is stifled. That ‘s a far worse kind of incompetence.

  • guitarpicva

    It’s an unfortunate generalization to expect that a Spirit-led service would be disorderly. Far from it! The order is imposed by the Spirit and disciplined by the competent leadership as Paul clearly directed in I Corinthians.

    Services where I have noticed an impact on men in particular have started out “regular” and ended up being a call to men to release their burdens and chains at the foot of the cross. That doesn’t happen in a pre-programmed production-oriented service. It happens when the Spirit is allowed to move as demonstrated throughout the Bible.

    I think you may have drawn an ‘a priori’ conclusion here. “Decently and in good order” does not mean devoid of the Spirit.

  • bryan

    I agree with your statement about “Men are deeply offended by: 1) incompetence, 2) disorder and 3) inconsistency within their beloved institutions.”
    In some of the churches that I know of, the worship service itself is very well run, but the church in general is not run so well. Incompetence, disorder, and inconsistency as you say. And it is a turn-off. And I think not in line with what God wants for a church.

  • Joel

    Going over the service time was only part of what Dave mentioned in the paragraph. He also mentioned “Individuals call attention to themselves. Emotionalism takes over.” Now those items certainly ARE issues if you want the Spirit to lead a congregation.