The Church for Men principles

  • Boiling it downA wise man recently asked me, “What are the core principles of Church for Men? He challenged me to define my organization and its goals in as few words as possible.

    This has been one of the most difficult — and helpful exercises I’ve ever undertaken.

    I’ve spent a couple of months boiling the mission of Church for Men down to its core. I’ve come up with these seven principles:

    • If you focus on men, your church will grow. If you personally disciple men, your church will explode.
    • You don’t need to start a men’s ministry program. Instead, take what you’re already doing and make it man friendly.
    • Men don’t hate God or Christ – they hate churchgoing. A surprising number of faithful Christian men are not all that excited about attending worship services.
    • We’re not calling men back to the church – instead, we’re calling the church back to men
    • Men will take their place in church when they feel needed and affirmed there.
    • Both masculine and feminine expression has a place in the church, but an excess of either will lead to dysfunction.
    • The religion that wins men, wins.

    So what do you think? Do these cover it? Is there anything I missed? Anything I should add or subtract? Please add your comments below.

     

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    September 5th, 2012 | David Murrow | 24 Comments |

About The Author

David Murrow

David Murrow is the director of Church for Men, an organization that helps congregations reach more men and boys. In his day job, David works as a television producer and writer. He's the author of three books. He lives in Alaska with his wife, three children, two grandchildren and a dachshund named Pepper.

  • Joe Faithful

    “The religion that wins men, wins.” Unfortunately, Islam seems to be able to do that quite well.
    Which brings me to your first one…”If you focus on men, your church will grow. If you personally disciple men, your church will explode.”
    Humor aside, your goals are spot on, keep up the good work!

  • Jason Haupert

    I finished reading “Why Men Hate Going to Church” and turned around and dove into “The Map”. Absolutely LOVE sensing the heartbeat in both of those! So many great things and a great summarization above. One thing that keeps jumping in my thoughts is how so many churches resemble an immobilized army just hanging around the “camp”. It pretty much echoes what is above but I have seen in my envolvement that if you can mobilize the men of your church, your church will enter the “battle”. It makes SO much sense! I have been blessed by walking toward the right side of the map with some of my guys and it is staggering what you can see simply be encouraging guys they have what it takes to enter the battle! I could keep going … sorry to ramble …
    Jason Haupert – Fort Wayne, IN

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1000542886 Carl S. Johnson

    Took me a second, that’s really funny!

  • bryan

    Personal discipleship? That’s a good one. I would be happy just to get a little help and encouragement. But now days, most church leaders method of personal discipleship is to just tell everyone to go to a small group. Let’s just lump everyone into that category. Never mind that some people (like me) probably would benefit better from something more one-on-one. The church I attend now is pretty small. Maybe 100 – 150 in attendance on Sundays. Last Sunday the Pastor preached from the book of James. On Monday I emailed him a question about the sermon. It’s now Friday evening, and no answer back. Is he really too busy to reply back to an email in less than 5 days? I don’t think I could get away with that in my job.

  • David Scott

    I don’t get it….

  • Jeremiah43

    Love the sentiment, but try this: “If we focus on JESUS and how we as 21st century men relate to HIM and HE with us, HE will build HIS church, and the world won’t know what hit them!”

  • Gene

    I need someone to show me how, not tell me how in a book, CD, another message.
    Take me with when you see people hurting. Take me with when someone is dying.
    Jesus took the disciples and showed them how.

  • Brian

    David, Great job in distilling things down to the core. For #5, the “when they feel needed and affirmed” strikes me as a non-manly statement :) Perhaps men will take their place when they “know they are making a difference,” regardless of whether or not they feel needed or affirmed. Don’t get me wrong…I love affirmation as much as anyone, but truth should drive us, not the seeking of affirmation from others. Keep it up, brother!

  • Des Williamson

    Without wishing to be rude to Muslim men – Islam is the religion of submission – one of its characteristics is blind obedience – Talk to any evangelistic Muslim and you will get the brainwashed answers much like you do with Jehovah’s Witnesses -Is that really what we want in church? A bunch of mindless robotic men who can’t rub two brain cells together to create a spark of an original idea? Good job Jesus wasn’t like that or Christianity would never have happened. Christianity didn’t flourish because Jesus conformed – it flourished because he took a radical new way (Yes I mean radical as in going back to his roots) He reinvented what the conservatives of his religion had tamed! If we tame the faith today then we are no better than the Pharisees Jesus so soundly rebuked.

  • Matt

    Make sure you go quickly to the how to. Tractor Sunday’s, Golf, pheasant hunts. We men need to see a path. Great material, it worked for my church. 55% men.

  • http://www.facebook.com/raymond.lindsay1 Raymond Lindsay

    I am really encouraged by this last post David. Heaven bless you my brother.

  • The Golfer

    Read “One Thing You Can’t Do In Heaven” by Mark Cahill as fast as you can. This must be our main focus in these “Times”. This book will change your current perspective and purpose. Mark played basketball at Auburn with Charles Barkley and they are still close friends. Mark has witnessed to Charles as well as Michael Jordan.
    Below is a description of the book.
    Are you ready for eternity? If so, are you helping others get ready for that journey into eternity that each of us must take? As believers, we all know we should tell others about the Lord, but we often don’t know how. This practical book will give you ideas for starting conversations, examples of witnessing situations, and answers to common questions, to help encourage, challenge, and equip you to reach both friends and strangers for Jesus the rest of your life!

  • http://twitter.com/faithtitan Matt Wicks

    Excellent insight!

  • Nigel Mohammed

    Thank you David for this succinct summary of what you are about. If only the pastoral ministry in the UK felt half as stirred as you do to reach men. One of the problems i believe is the professionalisation of the pastoral ministry because this creates a particular type of man who leads the church namely middle class and an ‘expert’. This kind of man finds it difficult to be real with his own sin and brokenness. The professionalism of the pastoral ministry and leaders in general needs to be challenged. It is not possible to hide behind a cultural form of ‘professionalism’ and follow Him who had no place to lay his head.
    All seven points resonate with me to my core and i wholeheartedly agree with all of them but it is number 4 ‘we’re calling the Church back to men’ rather than the other way around.
    I have just written a book called ‘Calling men out of the cave’ that relates to point number 4.
    Gordon Dalbey makes the point that because the church has been feminised and boys and men need to separate from the mother to find their masculinity (through initiation rites of passage which both the culture and church have abandoned) that maybe men unconsciously feel that they will be emasculated by the feminised environment of church and so keep away? Just a thought.
    Keep the fire burning my brother. Nigel Mohammed
    mohammednigel@yahoo.co.uk

  • Ron Rynd

    David- Personal discipleship of men is right on. Rarely happens. Men also need something to do–not just come and watch the show–is it possible for CfM to also emphasize engaging them in making disciples of future men, the next male generation, the young men and boys of the church and community, their very own sons? “Winning men” may be tough, winning boys takes tough men.

  • http://www.facebook.com/dave.roderick.79 Dave Roderick

    I like! Especially the idea of calling the church back to men. It is also encouraging me to disciple the men in my campus ministry at UMaine.

  • UK Fred

    If you read “The Church Impotent” by LJ Podles, it would seem that Christian men are just as likely to be mindless and robotic and yield ground to women, even before feminism became a problem in the church.

  • danny

    How do I get an avatar? I seem to have limited capabilities as well – always having to type my name and email adress for each comment?

  • http://www.churchformen.com David Murrow

    Do you have an account? That usually greases the skids

  • MuchClearer

    I think you’ve done a grand job here David! A great distilling down of your best content, which is always going to be helpful when you’re (we’re!!) trying to get the message out there and see churches and lives transformed.

    I guess the only point that I’d consider revising is the last one, which’ll probably get you into trouble with the thinkers/theological types unless you have the chance to majorly unpack what you mean.
    It seems to suggest that the victory isn’t certain, that our religion is losing, that Christ may be constrained in his ability to return as King and that our motivation in the great battle is somehow the idea that without men, all is lost, and another religion would win. I know that’s probably not your point but it’s the conclusion that many could easily jump to, hence if you’re genuinely asking “what to subtract” I would think hard about point 7.

    God bless you dude,

    Sean, UK

  • Mitch Winkle

    I would suggest that you find a man who is like-minded and JUST DO IT. Don’t count on clergy, who are over-worked at best; exhausted at worst to carry the load. If you need to connect with another man, JUST DO IT. If you cannot find a man in your church willing to do so, I humbly suggest you find another church, or maybe even better, mentor a younger man yourself to set an example. The Bible gives you not only a mandate, but clear license to make disciples. JUST DO IT! Contact me if I can help you.

  • likeariver

    men need mentors. at home, at work and even in the church.

  • likeariver

    right on!

  • ledoux

    Thank you for this advice. I will be looking to get this book very soon.